Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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