every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
These tits shall not be calmed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
