Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
