dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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