I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
