Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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