She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
