i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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