ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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