A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
