so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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