Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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