He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
