His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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