I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
