Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
