Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
