How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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