Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
