That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
