Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
