I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
