What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
