omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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