I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so let's talk penis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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