Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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