Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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