genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
