dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Randomize
