I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
