Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
