What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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