Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
