There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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