I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
