take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
