So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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