roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
