Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
