I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This is my gift to your gina
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
