She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
