First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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