If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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