it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We are all done wearing pants today
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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