just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
