but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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