My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
