I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
