There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
