As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
