and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
